making changes

it’s been awhile since I’ve used this thing. I’m not sure if many people use it or not anymore, but right now I need a place to put my thoughts and not care who sees it.
today me and my boyfriend decided were quitting smoking, and both trying to lose weight.
I’m really scared of quitting smoking. I know it’s bad for my health, but let me explain.
I used to go to the gym for 3 hours every day between November and January. when I met my boyfriend my workout habits kind of died off because I wanted to spend my nights with him, instead of with the treadmill. so I started heavy smoking, and kept off all the weight I lost, and even dropped 10 more pounds, making my current weight loss 40 pounds.
I’m starting my weight loss journey again. I want to lose the other 60 pounds by the end of November, The same time i started my journey in 2011. want to be able to say I lost 100 pounds in one year. I know November is only 4 months away, but I want to do it.
I want to look the same as I did in my homecoming picture from freshman year of high school that my boyfriend always looks at.
I want to be proud of my body again. I’m tired of destroying it.

my hero.

my hero.

there must be a million girls looking at the night sky, dreaming the same dreams I am. but there not like me, I dream the hardest.